English is the world’s greatest multi-cultural project

The English language is the world’s greatest multi-cultural project. Any word can come from anywhere else and stay at any of five main English residences: nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, and interjections. (For structural reasons, the smaller English enclaves of pronouns, prepositions, and conjunctions are highly restricted.)

If you’re a foreign word, you’re free to come in—no immigration controls, no quotas, no visa restrictions. There are only a few rules: If you dress in a non-Latin alphabet, you’ll have to change into Latin clothes; if you walk across the page from right to left, well, you’ll have to do it the other way ’round; if you like to make odd sounds that aren’t among the 45 or so English phonemes, then the natives will find some for you that sound almost the same.

English will also let you keep the letters that make you what you are (i.e., foreign) in your own original order—that’s right, you can keep your own spelling! (At first, you’ll be walking stooped over, in what is called the “italic” mode. But after a while, that’ll wear off and eventually you’ll even forget to wear all those strange diacritical marks, too.) Think of that: You can keep your foreign appearance, because ultimately, English speakers don’t really care about all the people who complain about the wildly inconsistent spelling in English, which is caused mostly because foreign words aren't changed to follow basic English practices.

But foreign words do have to agree to accept a few things, mainly English plurals (that applies to you, nouns, and you, single verbs), possessives, and English syntax and grammar. (English sometimes allows a bit of lee-way on that, like the French habit of putting the adjective after the noun. It’s not like English imposes a date certain by which a foreign word has to follow all the rules.)

This is “fish”: gh as in “tough,” o as in “women,” and ti as in any word ending in “-tion.”